Bozgratch

Another busy day for Frank, though he didn’t really get to enjoy any of it.

Katy and Mel headed home in the late morning.  Mike is staying here with mom and I.

Bill & Kathy were in to see dad, as were Phyllis & Reba, and Gloria.

Fred & Lisa stay till Wednesday so there were stories a-tellin’, and yarns a’ravelin’ and smiles and frowns and ups and downs.

For Frank, however the day was pretty basic.  He slept most of the day with little wakefullness, increasing twitching and increased medication.  His heart rate is steady but his rhythmn is irregular. He is comfortable and at peace, but slowly declining.  As this evening’s nurse said, “he’s a strong little guy.”

It is hard to have to continually try to calm, assure, convince individuals who cannot accept that this has been Frank’s choice, or who cannot accept the turn of events.

For those who see this as a sudden 8 week event we  can only say that if they had been present with dad over the past 2 years of decline, if they had known how tired he has been this whole time, how difficult a variety of things have been for HIM — even though he has always tried to be there for family when THEY needed help, then perhaps they would understand that what THEY think they are seeing as a sudden change of personality is not so sudden at all, and that after two years of decline, topped off by surgical events that could not have been predicted after delaying a needful surgery until he his doctor told him either have the surgery or call hospice — had they seen what was there all along to see and not turned a blind eye — then the events which got him in hospice might be more understandable.  But I have no problem turning out of the room those who speak in front of him as if he made poor or wrong choices.  It’s not OUR place to understand Frank’s choice — it’s none of any one’s business why he made the choices he made — It’s our place to respect and support and comfort one of the most wonderful men we all have known these many years through a difficult period for HIM.  He has always been there for others.  Now is time for others to lift HIM up and support HIM.

Frank has always been one to not want to worry anyone, to be there for family and friends when they called. This is but a case of his pouring out his own life for the benefit of others until he had too little left for himself to get through his own crisis.

It troubles me that some have a hard time accepting Frank’s choice.  To me, as a son-in-law, it’s disrespectful of a man I may have known for less time than some others, but who was a wonderful example of everything a father-in-law and a man ought to be.  I know that surrender is viewed by some as a bad choice — but there are many a time when surrender is more sweet than victory and when the lesson that God is in control of our life is more important than trying to set our own course through life. Sometimes we need simply to be still and know that He is God.

So many people speak of faith — Frank is exercising his faith right now.  Non-believers may not understand that.  But the peace of God DOES surpass all understanding. In his own quiet way he is looking forward to once again being with Margaret, to once again being whole, at ease and confident in the God who sent his Son to earth to die for his sins.  Faith is about more than words, and Frank is showing his faith right now: but having fought a good faith and leaving the rest to God.  Frank knows whom he believes.  He trusts the God who made him. And going home to be with God, with Jesus who died for him, is not a thing to be feared, nor at this time even delayed.

Frank,  when the time comes for you finally to leave us, smile upon those who misjudge you and who could not and cannot understand all that you went through.  For to them too belong God’s kingdom and one day they too will know the Power of the Almighty and the Mercy of Jesus.

Amen & Amen