Gradual Slowing Down
As I said when we moved from the hospital to hospice I am writing less in detail about Frank’s days now just because I don’t know that the morbid details are all that worth writing.
Ray asked about Frank’s address at hospice and I told him and am suggesting to you all to send mail / cards to 519. Mike, Katie, Mel, Fred & Lisa are all staying at the house and they can bring the mail when they come…. people are coming and going at various times during the day.
Peg & I have been overnighting with Frank. More like living WITH him. Myself since Thursday last week, Peggy since she arrived in Toledo on Sunday. This is not a time we want him to be alone. It was a hard decision for him to make to surrender, the least we can do is be supportive of him by staying at his side. The others come and go during the day as they have opportunity.
Phyllis was up today. Dad and she had a little time alone. Each of the families have had time today so they could spend with him saying their goodbyes.
No one is predicting how long this well take. He is not receiving food or water and his reserves are limited — but even in surrender he will choose his own time to let go and no one is hurrying him out the proverbial door.
Staff here are keeping his secretions undercontrol, and the pain as well. Each day sees some decline. No one is asking, and no one is predicting how much longer he has — it’s not a question we care about. We want him comfortable for the time he chooses to remain with us.
The weather here was wonderful today, high 70’s. We got the nursing staff to assist us rolling his bed out of the room and onto a patio so he could see the sky, feel the breezes, and get a little sun on his arms. He enjoyed that a lot. He almost cried trying to make clear that he was thanking Mike and those who helped make it possible. He’s still the same sweet man he always has been.
But aside from that there was not much communication. Shrugs and raised eyebrows are the favorite responses. On the few attempts to get a word out he is so quiet and slurred that it’s almost impossible to understand most of the time. He’s simply fading away.
Please keep praying.
L, Peter
