Bozgratch

Peg is on her way to Toledo.

After a spurt of energy last night he went steadily downhill during the day.  Drs. are, as always,  wanting to do all sorts of things, however even Dr. Grehan understood when he learned we had changed dad’s code status to DNR.

It became evident from the advice we have gotten from numerous sources that if we continued efforts to extend treatment that dad would most likely face an ongoing series of similar-events with little hope of regaining the strength and vitality he had before surgery.

I talked with Fred yesterday to explain where dad stood at the time.   I conferred a number of times with Peg &  Phyllis.

Late this afternoon I instructed the nursing station to cease further diagnostics as we had taken the decision to put dad on Comfort Care only. We will make his remaining time as comfortable as possible: either here in hospital or in hospice care at home.

The number and regularity of his pleas to go home were clear. Peg’s discussions with her dad prior to his ever going in hospital were clear.  We were comfortable that it is time for this action and that it is appropriate for dad’s wishes.

There is no way of knowing how much strength he may have — whether he may remain with us a day, a week, a month.  If he makes it through the next few days we will pursue hospice care at home if/or as necessary.

It’s time for him to go home without further suffering.

I will continue updating his status but with abbreviated details.

Ok — this one entry is not about Frank at all. It’s just my way of venting steam at the medical system.

I appreciate that doctors live incredibly difficult lives with great stress for which they receive great rewards…. All of that is a given.

The only thing that yanks my chain is that with something like a test for stroke one might think that a patient’s family could by some stretch of the imagination have some concern about the results and that maybe it would be  considered a nicety if the doctor could take a couple minutes to inform someone about the results of a test. I know that they have their own routine, and that caring for a patient they have never seen before may have a relatively low priority in their life — but somehow when you’re a family member none of that seems to matter.  All you would like is for someone to say “he’s ok,” or not.

I know that they have waiting rooms for surgical operations. Why there cannot be some comparable facility to communicate about issues of stroke is beyond me. I guess I just expect there to be more reason and concern and caring in a world that is governed more by wealth and power.

Bummer.

Ok — that’s my rant for the day.

It’s 6 am and I’m hoping the neurologist will be round sometime in the next 4 or 5 hours.

The night passed oddly.  Throughout the course of the day dad had been showing signs of returning to something close to his recent historic state.  Late in the evening he and I actually had quite a lucid conversation with us touching on an odd assortment of topics in his brain like doing yardwork — and aereating his lawn — though from his limitations it was an arduous guesing game until I understood that he was talking about making HOLES in the ground and then I guesed the rest.

Sentences are still very short, volume drops off as the sentence progresses and articulation is still very, very limited.  A lot of guessing goes on.

For that period of time he was open to talk about rehab,  he actually got the word “tongue” out clearly enough to be figured out and to know that he was acknowledging that he has to get his tongue working better.  Simple admissions like that are important and till now he has been doing what the nurses/therapists ask but has not acknowledged his “need” as it were.  We’ll see if he remembers that conversation later in the day. And I’ll try to build on some of the things we talked about during the day.

He sure does like talking though — A week ago we were sitting there playing speech-guessing games, just doing our best to communicate across this gap and I had asked him after some extended time whether he wanted to turn on the TV — the answer was no, but the wonderful part was when he added that talking was better.      There are times when the sweet old geezer just tears my heart out.  I’ve always said I could never have asked for a better father in law.  And I still mean it today.

It seemed that the best conversation yesterday came very shortly after his prozac medication.  Dont know if that’s related or not.

But — those are our little roller coaster rides.  Good for a while, then not so much.  Whether it has been the dialysis coaster or the bleeding coaster, or some other it just seems like he has moments of grand recovery followed by bouts of difficulty and complication.

I wish I could say that I have ever seen him actually DO something that resembled physical exercise to get himself stronger.  He will say something about his tongue but I don’t see the concentration on his face that indicates that he’s trying to move it around inside.  Same with arms and legs.  He will move enough to get himself comfortable but I don’t see arms or legs moving for teh sake of movement.

I think of other family members who have had to work through the arduuous task of recovery and how wonderfully they have done over the long haul and I have a hard time seeing this wonderful 85 yr old guy have anything similar in motivation with which to make that personal journey.  No one can do that for him. Would that were not the case.

I am really wanting to see the neuro guy and find out whether there actually IS any damage or whether much/all of this event has been the result of drug interaction or allergy or infection.  I was there with the tech when the test was done — but I don’t know how to read those things…. all I saw was a screen full of squiggly lines. From a novices point of view it’s hard to even know whether the squigglies were in response to the stimulous or not. Part of the test like a disco light flashing at regular intervals and increasingly shorter frequencies  didn’t seem to produce much different results — but heck – I”m just looking over her shoulder.

Well, the waiting continues.  After seeing the Dr I’ll bop out to Arbors and pick up his hygiene supplies so I can shave him and get him feeling good.