Bozgratch

Well, it’s been more than 24 hours since dad ended up back in hospital and on some levels we don’t know much more than we did yesterday.

The lung was drained, but we have to wait days for cultures to tell us what’s wrong.

The neurologist was adamant dad must have had a stroke, but we have not had his results from reading the EEG yet.  That may not happen till the morning but I’m staying here overnight to make sure I don’t miss the guy…. some of these doctors are slippery

In the late afternoon dad started to show signs of coming round, and has been noticeably better in some ways.  He tries to commuicate — and does.  But almost all of the communication is about wanting to go home.  One of the times when I told him he could not go home, he said, in not very Franklike terms:  “the hell I can’t.”  And when I challenged him to get out of bed so we could go home he tried to do that — which amounted to moving both legs about a foot in bed and then giving up.  At one point he even said I should “shoot him, ” which I obviously refused to do….  But the poor guy is fed up.

We have a hospice meeting set for 9:30 am on Monday.  I’ll collect some information.

Dr. Kahlil wants to do a CAT scan, but not wanting to put him through more surgery as a result of tests taken Peg and I are thinking about that one overnight.  The test is easy enough — but letting doctors do whatever they want has gotten dad to a very unhappy place already and we’re being a lot more measured in what we say “yes” to.

I want to see Dr. Ahrens, the admitting doctor and one of dad’s GP’s partners, and talk over dad’s care from a comprehensive point of view– all these specialists are looking at their specific body parts and no one seems to be looking at the whole man — during my first and only conversation with her she seemed to have a better feel for the human being than the specialists.  She also has not been particularly involved with dad’s care thus far and I think a fresh perspective will be good.

Dad has had hiccups all day long… how annoying it must be for him.  Along with much greater annoyances.

He’s had deep suctioning four times today.  (nasal canula down into the esophagus)  — one of his least favorite things in the world.  And he is still horribly raspy.

I wish we could say we were a step closer to recovery or a step closer to truly making dad more comfortable…. truth is, letting the medical establishment take control is not necessarily the best thing in the world.

Well, night night all…

Dr. Kahlil was in to say that most of dad’s left lung is full of liquid. They will drain it a little later in the day.

The pacemaker prevents them from doing an MRI (metal parts). Not sure what else the neurologist may want to order as a diagnostic tool.

Lately I’ve been playing “oldies” from the 40’s on my laptop for dad to hear something from his own generation. The last song on the shuffle was “What a Difference a Day Makes.” I cannot help but reflect on the truth of such simple words.

I’m still as ardent a Christian as I ever was, but I have also always been acutely aware of the fact that our bodies truly are an amazing chemical factory from which God in ways known only to him achieves conscious intelligence. I have not the mental ability to understand that — the entity known as personality or character, or soul, or being. But the elements of earth have this way of combining together to make something so uniquely different and unlike the elements themselves. We are composed of so much water — but we dont’ leak (well, most of the time we don’t leak)

God is greatly to be praised in the Heavens. God is greatly to be praised on Earth.
God is good….. All the time.

And

All the time…. God is good.

Without draining dad’s left lung to find out what’s in there we dont know if its generally water, or sputum, or some form of infection.

I’m being told that the course of treatment (antibiotics) for an infection of this sort is lengthy and that people prone to water on the lung often have recurrences thereof.

No decision is being taken until we know what’s in there. But protracting his suffering is not something we really want to do.

Dad’s family physician’s partner was in to talk. Without taking any decisions I am going to have a conversation with hospice about the options we may have.

No decisions have been made but with continued bleeding he may face colorectal surgery and protracted lung complications and we need to at least KNOW what choices there may be to make his life easier.